Im Sober and My Spouse Is Not Marriage and Sobriety

Writing out how you feel is cathartic and helps you find the words to talk to your spouse. It may also serve to open the lines of communication damaged by months or years of anger and hurt. Whether one or both of you struggle with a substance use problem, there is hope.

• Checking in regularly when supporting a partner toward sober living means constant communication, consistent assessment, and accountability.
• This is where Soberlink comes into play, providing the much-needed support to help couples cope with AUD, rebuild trust, and foster healthier dynamics in their relationship.
• Lee jokingly called this mindset “weird” to him, but the unimportance that alcohol has in Leigh’s life, and her willingness to take it or leave it, is one factor that helps their relationship work.
• These codependent people take care of their partners that live with a condition.

Can I be happy in an unhappy marriage?

Affairs, Addictions, and excessive Anger are deal-breakers. A simple way to do that in sensitive conversations is to stick with the following sentence-starter options. In my clinical work, I give couples a handout that includes these starter phrases. I encourage them to use the handout frequently, checking how to start each comment that might be sensitive or on topics that they know could be prickly. Please feel free to download the full 6-sentence-starters guide; click here and scroll down. Your SUD recovery may benefit from the social support and closeness, too.

Overcoming Challenges of Alcoholism and Marriage: Healing Trust with Soberlink

The process may be slow and fraught with setbacks, but the promise of a restored relationship and the regained sense of self are worth the struggle. There is an unfortunate link between alcoholism and infidelity in marriage. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and impairs judgement, often leading to decisions one might not consider when sober. Infidelity, borne of such impaired judgement, only adds marriage after sobriety another layer of hurt and mistrust in a marriage already strained by alcohol misuse. Labeling someone as an ‘alcoholic’ often carries negative connotations and stigma, which can be a barrier to seeking help. Instead, viewing AUD as a medical condition—like heart disease or diabetes—can help us approach it with understanding and empathy, acknowledging the need for professional treatment.

Rebuilding Takes TIME!

Consider finding a therapist to talk to, or joining a sober partners support group. Working through the trauma of addiction will most likely require help from https://ecosoberhouse.com/ a professional. Seek couples counseling to learn communication strategies, address underlying issues in the relationship, and begin to heal your marriage.

• “I don’t depend on him for my therapy, my recovery,” Banks explained.
• You won’t be any good as a partner in their recovery if you are not in a good place yourself.
• These days, unless I’m feeling generous, I simply say, “I don’t drink,” and leave it at that.
• This façade is often maintained by a “functional alcoholic”—a spouse who despite alcohol misuse, can maintain their job, responsibilities, and outward appearance of normalcy.
• Even just one supportive person for a recovering alcoholic is enough to boost them towards living a sober life.

Alcoholism and The Elderly

• “He can go out, have a drink or two, and it just adds to his evening, whereas I was definitely someone who saw alcohol as the main event,” she said.
• In this country, getting wasted is a staple of Western expat life and we were eager participants.
• Patiently work on rebuilding communication, trust, support, respect, and intimacy.
• I encourage them to use the handout frequently, checking how to start each comment that might be sensitive or on topics that they know could be prickly.

That’s because codependency is a relationship trait and condition that’s independent of the substance use itself. In other words, it continues even when the substance use has stopped. Codependency can continue to affect marriages even after your partner has become sober.

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The drinking partner believes in the sober partner’s strength, and imagines a shared future in which they remain sober.